Writing the Fiction Query Letter: Part Four
If you’ve written a novel and are looking for representation, you will need to write a query letter. In part one of this series, I talked about how important research is. In part two, I gave the basic rundown of what components should be in a query letter. And in part three, I explained my process for what information should appear in the first (personalization, basic info about the book) and second (a high concept hook sentence) paragraphs.
I highly recommend reading the first three parts of this series if you haven’t yet:
To read Part One, go HERE
To read Part Two, go HERE
To read Part Three, go Here
Today, I’m going to focus on paragraph three of the query letter. But first, a quick refresher of the first two paragraphs:
- Paragraph One: A personalized explanation (a sentence or two) of why you’re querying this particular agent (you should know this because you did all that research, remember?), the title of your novel, the approximate word count, and the genre.
- Paragraph Two: This is your hook, which is a one to two sentence generalization of your novel. Think high concept, the blurb line that you might tell someone when they ask about your book.
Using the above guidelines, I shared with you my first two paragraphs from my query letter for A TASTE OF MAGIC (originally titled A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR…A PINCH OF MAGIC). I’ll post them again here, so we can be on the same mindset:
Dear Ms. Agent:
I am an avid reader of your blog, The Agent’s Side, and have learned a lot about the publishing industry through your posts. I am seeking representation for my completed 85,000 word novel, A Spoonful of Sugar…A Pinch of Magic. This light paranormal romance is both the humorous and emotional story of a woman’s path to finding happiness in her world.
A thirty-five-year-old divorced woman discovers there’s a lot more to living than she thought when she inherits her great-great-great-grandmother’s Gypsy Magic, and using it, she curses her ex-husband and his mistress’s honeymoon, and then systematically attempts to change her life, and those around her, with one misfired magic spell after another.
As an aside, the blue font is only used to separate the querty letter text from the rest of the post. Don’t use anything but standard black lettering for your actual query letter. <G>
Okay, so we should all be onthe same page now. Today, we’re going to move on to paragraph three. As a reminder:
- Paragraph Three: Here, you want to expand on your hook, giving a little more information about conflict, motivation, characters, and the purpose of the story.
This is the tricky paragraph. Here, you want to give enough information to accurately highlight your book, but you want to do so in a focused manner. Here is the original third paragraph from my query letter for A TASTE OF MAGIC:
Who knew magic was so difficult? Not Elizabeth Stevens, but here she is, baking everything from magical muffins to enchanted cupcakes to fix problems for her sister, her friends, and herself. Only none of the results are quite right. Add in visits from her ghostly great-great-great-grandmother, dating two hot men (is it because of the muffins?), her living but loony grandmother, and Elizabeth’s conflicted emotions about her ex, everything is definitely not coming up roses. Elizabeth has a choice to make, one that has little to do with magic. With the help of a Quija board, her ghost-grandma, a snake, and a decade old piece of frozen wedding cake, Elizabeth learns that her future is up to her, and she finally believes in love and in herself. At the end, she passes the magical gift to her single and pregnant sister, and kisses her old life goodbye–in more ways than one.
I’m going to be honest: If I was querying this book now, I would re-write that paragraph, because there are a few things I don’t like when I read it today. For one, I dislike using the cliche “not coming up roses,” for two, I really should have put a little more effort into explaining the plot in a more cohesive manner. Even so, it’s not too far off base, and should give a decent example of what you need to do in your query letter. It’s written in a voice consistent with that used in the book, and it gives enough information to compel the reader to want to read more. This query letter proved to be quite successful for me, as I received many requests for partials and fulls.
I do want to point out, though, that A TASTE OF MAGIC is written in one character’s point-of-view only, which made this paragraph somewhat easier, as I didn’t have to explain another character’s motivations. It’s perfectly acceptable to use two paragraphs to explain plot and motivation if your novel has more than one point-of-view. Just don’t go overboard, and definitely try to keep your entire query to one page only.
So, how do you come up with this paragraph? First, grab a bunch of books and read the back cover copy. Then, grab more books and do the same. Doing this will show you the notes you need to hit in your query letter. Then, when you’re ready to start writing, ask yourself some questions:
- Who is the story about?
- What is the normal world?
- What changes that normal world?
- What is the motivation of your characters?
- Conflict…what is it?
- How is that conflict resolved/How does the book end?
The above are just basic questions to get you started. If you’re like me, your first drafts will be way too long, but that’s okay because you’re not going to send that draft. Rather, you’re going to peel away excess words, find stronger words to use, and continue to streamline until you have a one to two paragraph blurb that conveys the information you need to convey.
Then, ask yourself these questions:
- Is the voice/tone/style consistent with the voice/tone/style of the book?
- Is it clear what the story is about?
- Is the conflict evident?
- Is the motivation of your character(s) evident?
- Would YOU buy a book that had your copy as the back cover copy?
And…um…I think that covers it. If you have any questions at all, please feel free to fire away!
I’ll be back tomorrow with a list of my favorite classic Christmas movies, and we’ll finish up the query letter series next Wednesday with the final two paragraphs, plus a bunch of links that you might find handy as you’re writing your query letter.
Don’t Forget!
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