If you’ve written a novel and are looking for represenation, you will need to write a query letter. In part one in this series, I talked about how important research is. In part two, I gave the basic rundown of what components should make up a query letter, and the format that I have always used.

To read Part One, go HERE

To read Part Two, go HERE

Today, I’m going to focus on the first and second paragraphs in the query letter. For a quick refresher, those paragraphs are:

• Paragraph One: A personalized explanation (a sentence or two) of why you’re querying this particular agent (you should know this because you did all that research, remember?), the title of your novel, the approximate word count, and the genre.
• Paragraph Two: This is your hook, which is a one to two sentence generalization of your novel. Think high concept, the blurb line that you might tell someone when they ask about your book.

Let’s take a closer look at paragraph one. While the majority of your query letter can remain the same for any agent you’re querying, there is one section that should differ (at least slightly), and one that might differ, depending on the submission guidelines of the agents you’re querying. Because your opening paragraph should contain a personalized sentence or two, specific to each agent you’re querying, this is where the “slight difference” portion of my prior sentence will occur. Remember all that research you did? This is the information you’re going to use to personalize your query. You should have a list of the agents you want to submit to, right? And along with that list, a note of why that agent made it to your list. Whatever that reason is, that is the first place to look for help in personalizing your query.

Some possibilities for personalization:

• You heard an agent speak at a conference, and liked what they had to say.
• You met an agent at a conference.
• You read their blog daily.
• You’ve read several of their authors’ books.
• You’re targeting publishers that the agent already has secured book deals with.

These are just a few examples, but regardless of what type of personalization is used, let the agent know WHY you are querying them. This personalization is great because it tells the agent you’ve done your homework, but also because it shows them that you’re not simply copying and pasting your query letter for all of the agents you’re querying. The personalization needn’t be more than a sentence or two, and you can (and should) keep it brief and to the point.

The remainder of the first paragraph should be about your manuscript. Let the agent know the title, the word count, and the genre of your project. This will help them get a sense of the project before they read further, and it will help them begin seeing your project as a possible product. Here is an example from my original query letter for my first published novel, A TASTE OF MAGIC, which, at the time, was titled A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR…A PINCH OF MAGIC:

As you can see, it’s a simple paragraph, but it tells the agent why I’m querying them and it gives the agent necessary information about the novel before they even begin to read what the story is about. So, what information do they glean from this one paragraph?

1. I met them personally at a conference.
2. My novel is complete.
3. The word count of my novel.
4. The title of my novel.
5. The genre (romance) and the sub-genre (light paranormal) of my novel.
6. And that I consider the story to be both humorous and emotional. (Granted, the agent might read some of the book and have a totally different opinion, but at least I’m giving her/him information about what I think the novel is, and how it might be marketed).

Now, let’s say I also want to query another agent. Maybe I haven’t personally met this agent, but I read their blog on a daily basis. All that needs to be changed is the first sentence:

By the way, I completely made up the blog name, so if there is one out there with the title “The Agent’s Side,” I truly was not referring to it! But still, see how easy it is to personalize your query? Now, if the agent doesn’t have a blog and you haven’t met them personally, but you’ve read several of their authors’ books, simply replace the first sentence with that information, or whatever the reason is that you’re querying them. Couldn’t be simpler!

Moving on to the second paragraph–your hook, which is the one or two sentence high-concept pitch of your novel. I am not an ace at high concept, I’ll admit that right now, but learning how to drill your novel down to one or two sentences is extremely important. This is information that you can use far beyond your query letter! Once you have the shortened pitch written, you can use that whenever anyone asks you what your book is about. And trust me, this is something you’ll use even after your book is published!

Here is the second paragraph from my original query letter for A TASTE OF MAGIC:

A thirty-five-year-old divorced woman discovers there’s a lot more to living than she thought when she inherits her great-great-great grandmother’s Gypsy Magic, and using it, she curses her ex-husband and his mistress’s honeymoon, and then systematically attempts to change her life, and those around her, with one misfired magic spell after another.

I’m not going to try and say that I worte the best high concept, one sentence hook that anyone could write about A TASTE OF MAGIC. I am sure I didn’t. However, the sentence does drill the book down nicely, and it gives a quick overview of what the book is about. Within this one sentence, the reader learns that my heroine is:

1. Divorced
2. Magical
3. Apparently has sour feelings toward her ex (otherwise, why would she curse his honeymoon?)
4. Wants to change her life
5. Isn’t that successful with the magic (which, hopefully, gives a clue to the humor in the novel)

So, while this sentence could likely be written in a stronger, more evocative way, it does the job I set out to do. You need to do the same thing with your novel. Now, I wish there was an easy, fit-all, formula I could give you, but there isn’t. So much will depend on your story, your genre, and your characters, but if you play around with it, you’ll eventually find a sentence (or two) that delivers the information you need. Here’s how I did it:

• I started with character. Because this book is first-person, single point-of-view, I only focused on the heroine for this sentence. (thirty-five-year-old divorced woman)
• What happens that changes her “normal” world? (inheriting the magic)
• What becomes the theme of the book? (changing her life)
• How does she do this? (by cursing her ex-husband’s honeymoon, as well as the lives of those around her)
• What are the consequences? (misfired magic spells)

Your questions for your novel might not be exactly the same, but if you focus on the 1) Character(s), 2) What their normal world is, 3) What changes that normal world, 4) Theme, and 5) Consequences, I think you’ll be able to begin to narrow your hook, and therefore, your one or two sentence “pitch.” My first tries, by the way, were wordy and too long, but I kept cutting and revising until I had a sentence that worked well for A TASTE OF MAGIC.

Let me know if you have any questions, and I’ll try to answer them when they pop up!

I’ll continue on with this series next Wednesday! But I’ll be back on Friday with some type of a post…until then, be safe and happy.

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Tags: A Taste of Magic, Query Letter, The Novel Girls

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 1:25 pm and is filed under A Taste of Magic, Elizabeth Stevens, The Business of Writing, The Novel Girls, Writing, Writing Process. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.